The first 'drag' is the deepest

My parents both smoked, heavily, day and night, so we grew up in a fug of second-hand smoke. Of course, the day I found an unlit cigarette under Ma's bed, I realised I was the luckiest person on earth. Grabbing Ian after supper that very night, I rushed outside behind my bedroom window to 'light up', using a box of matches from the kitchen drawer. What a 'rush' I felt, so grown-up and sophisticated. Of course I never dreamed that Ma was watching me through a slit in the venetian blinds in my bedroom. 'Harry' she shouted, running out of the back door towards us. Hastily, very hastily, I put the cigarette out with my bare foot, thinking 'help!!!' Dragging me inside where Dad had a hidden stash of huge 'phallic' cigars, they decided to 'teach me a lesson'. When he handed me this monstrosity,I started off thinking 'oh this should be fun' but gradually got greener and greener at the gills with each puff I took. I remember her words' if you wanna smoke, I'll show you how to smoke'. Thanks Ma, you certainly did. As soon as I turned 18 and left home, I bought my first packet and didn't stop for 20 years.

Nightmarish night

When I was about 7 or 8 (I supose a lot happened in these particular years), I saw Ian having an epileptic fit. He had Petit Mal Epilepsy, which is referred to as 'absence siezures' these days. They occur mostly in young children, don't affect their growth in any way, mentally or physically and they outgrow them in their teens. But 50 years ago they were quite serious and little was known about them.

We shared a bedroom, and one night while Ma was lying on the end of his bed, talking to him just before bedtime, she suddenly yelled 'Harry, switch the light on', and rushed to grab him. She told me to 'get out, get out, get out' and I was foisted from the house and found myself, barefoot on a Wintery night, wandering up and down our garden path, waiting for the doctor who had been summoned. I had never felt so scared in all my (short) life. I remember shaking with cold and fear, and sobbing, while begging God to please let him live. This had some profound consequences for my life. Firstly, it cemented me to my little brother forever, providing a fierce 'motherly' instinct that has made me protect him ever since. Also, it made me very nervous and unsure about doctors and wierd health problems! Mine and others!

Looking at the moon

The brightness of the moonlight woke me up and I went to wake Ian, unlocked the front door and dragged him outside. We sat on the top step of the stoep and gazed at this large, very large ball in the sky. I can remember my hand draped lightly round his shoulder, as we sat in complete silent contemplation. Suddenly there was a screech as Ma came running out in her nightie, shouting 'Harry Harry, where're the kids?' ( about 1952)